Today, we Venture into one of of my personal favorites. And boy, is it a dopersonally didn't find this movie until the ripe age of 17. I was well seasoned in horror, I ozer! I knew what I liked. And I said to myself "Well dummy, you're gonna buy this double feature because it has Carnival of Souls AND Horror Hotel, And then I saw it, with a clearance sticker that said "$1" The cover, enticed me. I was pulled right in. I knew zombies, I loved zombies, and what.. the fuck... was this? When I got home, I unwrapped this new found movie even before my new double feature! 20 years later, on a dime, it is in my top 5 movies and always will be. Lets do a comical rundown! Don't worry, no spoilers!
(No, not my photo, but.. this is the exact layout of the moment!)
Some movies can start right off and carry on. Halloween? Even if you cry about the third installment of the John Carpenter series, or are appalled by Rob Zombies take (you hideous gatekeeping monster!) The story is incredible all around. But this was the one for me, if you can spook me within the first 20 seconds of your movie, you sir, have won. The intro music? Society in the background, living on, quietly sleeping while boat horns wail in the distance. The incoming scene of a deserted island with city skyline views, just kind of adds to the "No one can hear me" atmosphere placing its clammy cold hand on your shoulder, leading you into the disturbing. Its already there, and you only just clicked 'Play'.
"Hey, does this look infected?!"
To be honest, It is almost like turning on the first of the Evil Dead series, only, the cabin is much more creepy and shack like. And the terrible conversation due to terrible acting? It only created more reality. A bunch of stoned improv actors? Yes, that'll do for realism! Its almost unbearable to keep up with the witty one liners because, they are super articulate and 'Hipster-ish'. Except for the dude that pee's his pants. Which I am getting to now. The movie quickly goes from "Hey this is fun and exciting!" to "Wha.. what the...".. After a pretty good gag, there is some banter over an overdramatic 'ritual' that produced silence and a temper tantrum. Which turns into something a little disturbing. And the comfort level is quickly asserted by the acting which has become.. A bit more raw now. I can still hear the "Hail!" hollered out through the echoes in my bones every time (yeesh, hope I'm not hexed!)
"Oh! Great and powerful Leonard Nimoy, Father of Stevie Nicks! Give me the power of Sylvia Brown and the Ghost Hunters COMBIINNNEEEEDDDD! Oh and Live Long And Prosper"
Ok, not gonna lie, it gets a little weird here. There is talk of marrying the dead and "Hey that's disrespectful pal!" and yadda yadda yah, honestly, its about 20 minutes of dialogue to get through, and its still pretty interesting. At this point of the movie it has turned into a real situation of spending the night with a bunch of friends once you have hit middle age. Everyone's crabby, disagreeable, and tired. You know, Like if you forget to loop the Barney video and your kids ready for a nap. Lets move on!
"Sooooo.... did you bring us anything Grandpa?!?!"
Things have juts gotten disturbing. What happens next, could best be described as that "trauma in horror everyone is always looking for". The movie has the best "Lets come out of the ground!" scene, I have ever laid eyes on, I wanna clarify that here and now. The buzz saw soundtrack that someone stole off a stock footage alien invasion and tweaked to Satan's standards, is the most haunting part of the entire movie. Nothing is safe anymore, survival is it. The crew of scoundrels is completely unaware, except for the poor souls who cant tell their friends what is about to occur. Mostly because their vocal cords have been eaten out. If loud noise and perfect lighting are too much for you, yeah.. turn it off, movies over for you.
"Why you little! Not enough meat in the loaf eh?!"
At this point, it is a free for all, and it is well thought out "in the moment" film making. There isn't a super big finish. It's all just one big meat fest! There's blood now! And makeup! And yes! THIS IS ZOMBIE MOVIE MAKING!! The movie has now fully transformed into what has left it stapled as an icon in the Public Domain. You will truly never want to be in the dark again, even with friends or family. The dastardly deeds and shocking reality of "Yeah but wait what if this happens! Oh.. there it is, yeah, that's some pretty real 'screaming in terror' you got there" sets in. Questionable dialogue may have been a factor in some small moments, but, here we are, and man what a wild ride! We've pee'd our pants! And woke the dead to marry them! And now, the ghouls who like to feast on you are tired and hangry! Ya did this to yourself!
"OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OOWWWWWWWWWWWW YEP STIFF AS A BOARD!"
Closing this up now, as we float away from this here is my personal reflection. Do not make my life choices and let this movie go unheard! I was raised on Halloween, it was the series my mom and I watched most. One reason, was because she knew if my sister or I were getting spooked by a killer in a mask, she could create a world of spoken word Madlibs throughout the movie for us to laugh at. It took the edge off, made something I thoroughly enjoyed at a young age, a little more OK to like at a young age. I like monsters, its who I always have been. We would be liars if we said moments couldn't traumatize a kid who even chose to enjoy this type of stuff. So my mom took "Oh my god Michael Myers is breaking into the closet and there's lots of screaming!" and turned it into "Pizza guy! You forgot to tip me!" Did I think he was there to deliver a pizza? Obviously not, but the satire was there even in the scariest moments. I had officially learned how to turn the tragedy into comedy for myself.
"Oh crap, I'm watching my ghoulish figure, Moprahs gonna be pissed!!"
This movie, makes it easy to so the same. But you know what? The creep factor, even 20 years later, leaves me speechless at times. There are certain movies that simply, cannot be touched, at all, even blowing the dust off the cover would just incinerate everything everyone was trying to do. Sometimes, perfection is in the form of cheap cameras and bad conversation from guys who look like they deserve to be eaten alive in the middle of a fog dense island. And this, is that perfection all in one. The 'bad', the 'even worse', and the "Oh my God I'll watch it 100 more times!" Easy to judge out of eyesight, but putting together words while watching it? Impossible for me, its that simple.
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