Time for another fun Doctorb piece! This one is gonna flow because, we are gonna make it nice and simple. Now, I need all you fans of posts embracing your loneliness, and posting about it 500 times a day. Also those of you who "Log offline" in a huffy post that no one will read, come sit, we have a hell of a lot to learn here. Oh and you Mr. "I'm not gonna verify my friendship!" Get your bully minded butt over here too. We are all gonna learn something here. Don't worry, as usual I'll be nice about it, I put together some long ass pieces lately, lets make this one simple.
If there is one trend that needs to die its the idea that, being sad is admirable or customary. We have become aware of one thing, that we like to share our pain for the world to see. Where did we get it wrong? Well, we have become really REALLY self absorbed in our pain. We have romanticized the idea of mental illness so much that we have once again, lost all context. Sad is ad, it may pass, with support and a hug, we can push forward most days. Its a dark time for people that need help, because everyone has learned the 'symptoms' of Anxiety and have self diagnosed and also... defined themselves as such, so its almost shaming to someone suffering that our reply is "Everyone is". My goal is to demolish that stigma. Everyone is pushing, not everyone is suffering. If you can keep your roundabout feelings and come out thinking you are a survivor, help others. Its the BEST thing we can do in these times for each other.
There is of course, another side of this issue. This side is just as toxic and ugly. We all have that one friend. You know the friend I am talking about. Their dirty laundry they create is the true focus of their engaging with other. They want to be fully and completely recognized with a constant hand to hold. This type is hurtful to everyone. They not only recognize their bad moods, they weaponize them and spit venom. For one moment of attention they will strike with words, the most meaningful thing, They share memes written by someone who has been so toxic they have chased everyone away, and attracted others who do the same to get famous. We make fun of todays generation for recognizing their sadness, but its all they've ever been taught. We got rid of sitcoms and 'Ward Cleaver' type parents, and replaced them with biker gangs an meth dealers. The Generation that takes the least blame, acts the most like the people I speak of. That's right I said it, as a Xennial (frig off I'm using it!) I CAN say it. We dropped the damn ball. We got too comfortable with feelings, and started feeling incorrectly.
I SAID HEY! WHAT THE FUCKS GOIN' ON AROUND HERE?!
As much as we glorify being sad, we also want to deal with it alone for some odd reason. We are mentally aware but tarnished by tradition. Men stay silent, Women see themselves as more dominant with love and feelings, this is the cycle. We simply lost all ambition in helping each other with just a friendly hello. We have privatized our free time and become selfish as if we earn this time by getting up and facing the day. Sure, surviving when you don't want is admirable, being tired from a day of work is common. There, I said it, responsibility has become something to brag about. Its our main downfall. Providing as we call it has taken over all other chances in this world of raising Children in the American dream. We went from 8 hour work days that we marched in the streets for, to working 12 hour days by choice with nothing to show. What is there to it? How are you beyond helping others? We clock out, go home, and recline. No one is extra busy, we are all sitting here posting about how busy we are but, I don't see it. We are busy being self involved, which is fine, until you become SELFISH.
Has over emotion drained us? Or have the stories we watched unfold media given us a false sense of reality? We are quick to jump into our PJ's the second we arrive home because we learn fancy words like "Introvert". Then, we post a picture in front of millions in the hopes that they will see it and laugh and share. There's not one single fucking thing comical in this world, or romantic about wanting to die. There is no beauty in the ugly side of depression. There is however, beauty in INNER SELF, if you can find the encouragement to say that you are depressed loud and proud to the world, you are doing fine, your illness has not defined you.
It has taken me years to get to this point, 25 of them in fact. Playing with the idea of "If I wasn't here who would love me?" Are we asking out of general concern? Was it a terrible person saying this? I have debated that question in my life so many times and woke up and persevered, I wont bring it up to scar people with "What if's". In the same sense, asking for a helping hand is so noble, demanding one directly the way you want, is tragic. I hope to God no one reading this actually does that to others. Shaming us for trying to help, but incorrectly, shows you have the inner knowledge and awareness to structure yourself and become self sufficient with coping. Taking the steps to true help are scary and much better when taken with the help of someone else, but we are here to be aware and better for ourselves, we can be sooo much better with this. If you are drowning, but surrounded by life rafts, you are not doing your part to be better. Sorry to air that dirty laundry we all know is true.
Again, there is a nice counter argument to what I say here! Listen, if you are focused on yourself so much as to shame others for bothering you for 30 seconds of time occasionally just to say hey, same on you, plain and simple. Work is not an excuse to just say what's up when we catch a red flag with a friend. This is of course, the time to not 'prove' your friendship... jerk.... its a time to UTILIZE your friendship. If you have nothing but casual friends, why worry if they ask for time? If you are going o directly ignore someone to know they are hurting and you don't "Have the time" to do anything but scroll past and then lash out... you are a douche. Kapow, I said it.. I wouldn't want a friend like that honestly. I have dealt with so many of them, even a 'best friend' out of pity. I will end up writing about my experience with such, to keep topics flowing, its all writable in the end.
I try to stay away from those types these days, if you don't have time to help others, but time to shame them for a rough patch or asking for a hello... Stop.... You are being very lame. If you are like me and have a hard time finding the words to help people, just listen for a few minutes and you would be awestruck with the results of how everyone feels. We ALL want someone to listen sometimes. This is also, never to be taken advantage of, if someone gives you the time to respond and listen, don't say you don't have the option for more people to listen. This isn't too complicated.
Sorry for gettin' rough! The Doc does it with love!
To close on this bad boy and give you the final point, we can all do better. No one is our punching bag, and no one has to listen to be a friend, we don't all have good input, and some of us are suffering also. To me, that is not an excuse, but, I can see where the situation comes into play, we can't all devote all the time in the world to helping someone who isn't helping themselves. However, if we can share posts about saying "fuck all" to friends asking for valid responses on friendship when they feel alone, we are being just as manipulative. Somewhere down the line, we really took mental health out of context, and I believe it was honestly when we became cold due to media. Robotic responses with no depth, but we can fit a profound paragraph into something for likes and shares. Be better, stop using each other, and stop leaving each other behind out of selfishness.
Its Mental Health Awareness Month, I am going to try and delve into as many coping skills, and insights and stories as I can. Always remember, I am nowhere near professional, or profound. Just a dude trying to sound coherent. Thanks for reading! and as always..
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