Mother's Day is quickly approaching, and I thought this would be a fun one! There is a lot of Dad's out there apparently, who do not think they get enough credit on their own day compared to their Wives. I didn't ever really think it was that important of a day, I have my own reasons, and of course as usual, I am gonna try and write about them. This one is for my Dad, and his Dad and all other Dads out there who share my view. If you don't share it and you think there is a rift in importance, just give it a read. I have only been on the Dad road 10 years, 10 of the wildest years of my life. If anything, I owe a day to them out of gratitude for putting up with me. Also thanks to whoever created this following meme to inspire me.... ya dope.
People will remember who you were, not who you tried to be. If you want to be honored, make better strides at being honorable and stop doing this...
I don't have, any of this down. I am not a heroic figure, I am not above my Wife in providing, and I am not a scholarly source that smokes a pipe in slippers. To put it bluntly, I was a dude who had good aim and finally nailed a basket. Being a Dad was always a pretty big deal in my life, but I was never really 'ready' for it. I didn't even get married until I was 27 for the same reason.. I am not the best influence in life, and don't deserve to be treated as such. I make all kinds of fun mistakes, and learn a lot from them, and make them again and try for next time. That's my version of Dadding, I don't really know how to do this because I was always taught that Dad's work, and that's it There's no honor in breaking your back for your family in my Dads opinion, he resented the idea. He never wanted to be celebrated because he was always working, not doing anything Dad related other than funding the family. As badly as I wanted this position, I was thrown into it head over heels, even when I thought I was ready.
Who the hell wants fancy food over these moments?! Be a Dad year round
I wanted to touch base that to me, we all have the right to be celebrated, and shaming celebration has become tradition since Social Media. We treat single Mother's and Father's as trash making childish rules to shame that out of being a dual parent. You are right, they totally shouldn't be able to enjoy the day, all you parents who have play both parts need your own day, and I say fight for it. It is the most honorable and demanding parenting situation out there. Cheers to all of you. We also have an undying passion to feel equally important on Hallmark holidays built to sell overstock on cheap crafts. But now, Dad expects a new grill and parade for all his hard work, shaming the love he puts into someone because he doesn't get the same in return. I cant speak for Women, I an speaking to the people I know, we can do much better as Dudes on this spectrum.
So what DO I expect out of being a Dad? Does is sound superficial to push off the excitement? Maybe, but if there's no excitement there than what's the point? What are my expectations? I uh, don't have any. I am just here, doing my thing, and being as dedicated as I can. I am rolling along with this ship just helping make sure it don't sink. I am not the Captain, we ran a mutiny and decided we are all lending a hand in this. To say I have this Dad thing down enough to have a special day of honor is silly. However, every year, even the littlest amount of love means the world. Because it isn't a day to cater to me, its a day to celebrate what makes me me, as a Dad. It's day I can laugh at silly things I get to celebrate my silliness, and the one day where I get a hug to say "Hey dude, thanks for yelling at me, it helps". Do I yell a lot? Depends on who you ask. I of course, say yes, some other people would too, but the important people don't which are these two little spawns who gave me a reason to be proud. They don't seem to see the monster I do. That's what makes this so special to me.
More than proud, a reason to breathe, to push, to inspire, to help. Why should the celebrate me? All I did was create and show how to do things. They are the real game changers. I get crabby, and don't follow through. I get terrified because the teen years are coming and there's a lot to hold against me, all I can do is keep trying. If we are to give credit, give it to my Wife, who supports me, the Kids, and the entire family because her goal is doing constant good for everyone, we are different people in that sense. She is too good of a person and deserves recognition all day every day. But if there is a special day out there for the Kids to say "I love you because its a special day" so be it. I just don't expect the same, but get it anyways.
Being a Dad is extremely trying and frustrating. Being a Mom, is having the responsibility of being the only one Dad will vent to. We aren't all silent, some of us just choose that one person to speak all their issues to, and then turn around and act mystical as if we hold it together. I think its pretty humorous in the end. I will be the first to tell you I don't have a single thing together, I just know how to keep us floating. I also found someone to shower all my love on all year long, if you choose one year a day to appreciate parenting, that's on you. If you expect to be Godlike.... also... so be it. I don't judge, I just tell stories and lend a hand, you demand to be treated as you wish, or get your hopes up to be overly special, I personally don't feel it. I choose to take a different approach and always stay involved in real ways. Praying that I stay special.
I will take dollar trinkets any day. My Dad's day is awesome, not because people feel the need to treat me different, but just simply to say thank you. Even if its a chaotic throw of a gift bag and a hug, when my eyes light up over a Ninja Turtles keychain, so do theirs. Its OK to be childlike, I don't understand the logic in pseudo ideas of Dadding. I don't want socks or sneakers, I like little collectibles, mostly much cheaper than socks even. I once got a ceramic little Halloween Village that cost about 4 dollars all together, its my favorite collection above all else. Because it was given with love, and immediately the situation went back to me doing my best to be a Dad. I don't need any other recognition.
Being a Dad saved my life, I mean that 100%. Everyone says it, but I live it. It helped me to figure myself out to be better for others, no one had to accept who I was. I had to work hard to make myself someone loveable. Father's day, couldn't possibly mean much more than being the person you became, with just a extra thank you. If the woman who you chose to love, who carried these Kids, put up with the scariness of someone growing inside them, broke down in tears out of fear of failing before each child came wants to have a day of honor, again, so be it. My wife deserves the entire world, I will NEVER refute that, and most of the time, I suck at saying it to make her day just a little better. She supports every stupid ass dream I have. Honor her.
I get so much fun stuff all year round, stuff like trinkets from a shop trip. Things like doing things in the kitchen with them, or trying to help with homework, or the moments where we all get on the same page and smile together. I never felt deserving of having a family, that's the most I could ask for. The candy they pick out because its sour and they know its my favorite. I am big on the small moments, I like unexpected little hugs just for no reason, I have one headed into the pre teens, I hope I never at least lose a smile to say "I'm OK Daddy". Being a Kid is fucking rough, the biggest gift to me would be for her to stay close. It will be the same when #2 starts to find herself. A random text that I have to scold as my heart is melting are the moments that make me feel appreciated. I will never ask for much and degrade the things I strive to give others. Beat the stigma and be honest, if you want a nice celebration, ask for one ya sissy. If not, cherish all the little stuff, like drawings you can turn into tattoos. I am dedicated to this Dad life, sometimes I REALLY question myself, but that's why I have all these moments, and they mean more than any card someone else wrote ever could.
In closing, its very trying being a Dad, especially these days. And through our pain we want to feel equally appreciated, but our approach in doing so proves more why we need to celebrate all the things a Mom does. You won't hear a single word about being a Dad from me this weekend, especially on the one day built for the woman who gave me everything I could already ask for. There is another piece coming after this to be ready by Sunday, because, its the ABSOLUTE VERY LEAST I could do for Women. Thanks for reading, I hope my view clarified a little as to what appreciation is, and who I personally think deserves it more. Always ALWAYS honor the Women in your life who gave you life, not only in your own form, but also little lives to help and keep you refreshed on all the things being a child meant. As always, THANKS FOR READING!... or.. trying to!!
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