Jan 28, 20213 min read

Junk food land! Vol. 1

Ah junk, Teacher! Mother! Secret lover! I mean uh, yeah. We are gonna break down the best of through all my years of eating.... JUNK! The best, sometimes the worst, here is our first dive! These ain't gonna be your average "Here's 50 pictures of something you always see". I take snacks seriously! We, are going on a multi volume journey through just candy and chips alone!

Punkys!

Mmm tangy speckled candy bite thingies! Much like Dino Eggs, only less neon and more coarse.

CherryClan/CherryChan

Known now as 'Cherry heads' a sibling of the infamous lemonheads. When this obviously blatantly racist design was updated, so was the name and formula. They used to hit just a bit more softer and sour.

Oreo Cakesters

Before fruit punch Oreos and coffee Oreos, and.... I don't even know what this point there were these. Cakesters were just what they sounded like, chocolatey little cakey little, overly sweet, cakes. I cannot say my life is full of fond memories of these things. And quite honestly, by 2012 everyone else agreed and they were gone. Turned into cake dust.'

Swiss Cheese Originals

A worthwhile 80's favorite that unfortunately wasn't enjoyed by many for very long. There are several companies who have reformulated the recipes but, nah.

Ranch Fritos

Limited?! You stupid son of a! It never should have been limited! They were the perfect mix of not being 'overly ranch' flavored like everyone does, and just a bit over the 'under ranched'. One of the saddest goodbyes I have ever had to make. I hope we see each other one day again! I love youuuuu!

Tato Skins

Muh God, how about MORE! How dare you take these away from us you stupid little elves! I don't want any "TGIFRIDAYS' snacks! I want Tato Skins you jokers!. Tato skins were the perfect blend of perfect in the 'Tato Skin' empire. There is no debate here, now stop fooling around and bring them back.

Peanut Butter Boppers

What stoned ass dad worked until 2 AM to present this idea is my question.

"Yeah boss, here me out. Peanut butter with chocolate and oh little morsels everywhere OoOo and the crunchy stuff don't forget that!!".

I would have given him the keys to the castle over this idea. But as usual, the stupids from stupid town step in with cancelations.

Pizza Cravers

Yes, they were as delicious as you remember. Brought out about the same time as 'Pizzaria's' These were the flavor winners in personal opinion, It had the tangier bite as 'pizza flavor' would be expected to have to a 90's kid. The problem was addiction, only to be ripped away far too early.

Bagelfuls

They weren't for everyone. most likely why they didn't have too long of a legacy. I however always liked the convenience of being able to multi task while one was hanging out of your mouth for easy consumption. Biggest gripe? They congealed way too quick for me.

Cheeto's Paws

Why did they taste so much better? Who the hell knows but give them suckers back!

The Goods

I know I know. You can still find those disgusting little black licorice ones, someone find me Good N' Fruity's!

Dinasour Eggs

Mmm... No wonder Dino's ate each others eggs! The biggest regret was trying to bite down!

Hubba Bubba Ouch!

Before Hubba Bubba was tape and fun stuff, it was band aids!

Pizzaria's

Ah yes, the elves again. This time they nailed it though! Not quite as well as Pizza Hut Doritos but, you elves did a damn fine job!

Dizzy Grizzlies

Comparable to frosted animal crackers in idea. In their own world on flavor. I could always easily eat.. An entire box. The chocolate and honey mix was what nailed it. Anyone can frost a cookie, but special people bake em in honey first.