Ok, time to do a Dad post! Hooray! I feel inspired after reading someone's stance on this subject. I want to make something clear, we all struggle like hell as parents, if you don't you may want to read about someone's sure shot way of fixing problematic behavior by establishing dominance.... good luck man. If that's what works with you, hey, so be it. But as a former kid who challenged everything his stickler parents said, Leave dinner in the fridge overnight.. See how your child responds to it as a second meal, and how quickly it takes for you to lose your shit because your child is simply, not a moron and isn't going to fall for this trick, they wont starve, and you both know that. Its cool if your kids eat things without a problem because "They know better". I am working on myself so I don't have to say those things anymore.
I am not a magic man, I DO NOT comply, I don't expect my children to comply to someone else's taste buds for them either. So how do you as a Parent, successfully compromise, and still come out as the wise one? I don't know, but I found some stuff that totally worked (so far)! STOP TAKING IT AGRESSIVELY SERIOUS! You created these clowns, they have your genes, and take after you. If you were such a cool kid in the 80's or 90's, guess what pal. Your kids are you, combined with another greater or lesser evil. You are not 'in control' here, you are just driving the flaming buggy. If losing a battle affects your Parenting skills that deeply, I am sorry, but I am here to help if I can. I speak in the direction of my dad friends here, for two reasons.
1. Because Dadding as a whole is just a major issue full of rhetoric that is killing Manhood.
2. Because my Mom friends here, rock A LOT of this on their own, I know you guys go nuts too! Lets help everyone!
I LOVE food, but I am fucking picky, plain and simple. I don't eat vegetables out of choice, just because. Never have, never will. I do however, eat them because they taste OK. My kids? Same boat pretty much, we will like what we like, our brains and palette will tell us so, to say otherwise is simply wrong. Punishing, comes in MANY forms but punishing over meal time is outdated and pretty sad. Let your kids grow their own love for food, you are honestly just there to monitor the progress, not choose it. Your kid won't eat a meal at all? I have some cool recipes I am working on a writing for the best way I got this veggie stuff to work personally.
We have one rule, one super simple rule in our house. We will take things our kids like and make them, in doing so, we add one thing they may not like or haven't tried, and go through it again. I don't care if you sit at the table all night long, I will keep reheating your food until you try one bite, just one to give me an HONEST opinion. We don't have to do that much these days at all. Our Daughters (especially thing1) are slow ass eaters, but, they will always try something at least once. My kids are older, they have grown into their tastes, yours will to. And if they don't like it, we are not douchebags about it, if we make it again, we will keep something to the side just as filling. Like say "Don't like burgers? OK We have leftovers, you loved that stuff!" BOOM! The headache is over, that simple. You are WELCOME!
Life is terrible enough sometimes. Your kids have crappy days at their age level too. Instead of encouraging them to believe it gets worse, or that they are not worthy of frustration. Let them have one thing go right for their day in their opinion too. Everyone can win if we go with the flow of things. Who cares if your kids "rough day" was because the Play Doh' dried out, they deserve a microwave and some self care sometimes too. We all know being a kid can suck.
Parenting sucks, we love the people we are told to "Keep in line". If you lean into one side or the other too much, you ruin everything. Parenting is a happy medium, its giving and receiving. That little tadpole was already the fastest swimmer, you aren't going to outsmart them by trying to play tough. Deal with your ego, and then deal with your kids retaliation. Keep a clear head, remember, you are negotiating with a tiny terrorist... that loves you and responds well to stern but patient reasoning. Its a piece of Broccoli silly, it is yucky and stupid to them. You would much rather be eating potato chips too, be honest with them, not superior. You are only making them eat this stuff because you 'have to' see what I did there? There are TONS of viable alternatives for picky eaters, compromise on this, trust me.
There's no reason to stress everyone to the point of tears to prove a point, coax them into a bite, 9/10, they aren't going to like it, suck it up, give it a month or two and it will change, try again. I know this all sounds silly, but save everyone the time, and manage yourself AND your kids. For me to say I am well managed under stress is absolutely absurd. KNOW WHEN to give in instead of creating someone who will just do what someone else says out of demanded respect.
We can clearly see these days, that your parents weren't very good at this social stuff? Why should they be? They never had to interact with the entire world on a public platform all day. YOU ARE DOING OK. If you guys are fed at the end of the day and just a little defeated, take it for what it is. You are a badass parent for admitting when it was time to let something stupid go. If they ate a meal, you won everything, except control. 🤷♂️
Know your 'Enemy' at Dinner
Say your kid eats red meat once a month but likes chicken? Its simple, make more chicken recipes with the stuff they WILL eat (we will get to this). Introduce other meats in fun news ways. Or instead of saying "Well my kid loves Sloppy Joes but hates steak I don't get it!" I could explain the palette all day but I will keep it simple. If it is a form of the stuff you want them to eat, make it more. They have compromised and said "Well to be honest I like burgers and tacos but not pot roast" Entertain them 4 days out of the week and yourself 3, make sure there is leftovers for them. Simple, Dinner time is quiet and stress free, you win parenting, and everyone is happy.
We were born into being ourselves, we express ourselves freely, let your kid do the same. We aren't talking life choices like murder or drugs, this is meal time. If we are open here, they will come to us with the later stuff, who cares if they are a little afraid? It's natural, keep yourself approachable at all times. I am not saying take your kid on a week long bender, but always handle your emotions directly so you know how to handle them instead of masking.
You aren't going to be less of a person by doing this. Politicians aren't going to blame you for the downfall of civilization because of this, and if they do, who the fuck cares? You have raised well rounded kids who will in turn, be just as well rounded with their own choices in life. I think one thing we have forgotten in all of our 'learnings' is that, we are all here together. We admit our faults through cryptic memes about manhood for respect from our peers instead of going to the source. Parenting has become a "Look at what I am doing" deal instead of "Oh man, I am honored but I have no fucking clue what I am doing here."
Parenting saved my life. I mean I cant find any other possible words to describe it. Of course I hate it sometimes, I hate EVERYTHING sometimes. We all do. And we all know that burning feeling of just wanting to let it all out, and instead, finding unintentionally cruel ways to punish our kids and tear down morale until they comply.
We have turned trauma into some sort of "I ignored this just to take it out on everyone I know" parade. I choose to listen to 4 simple words in these times. "Think Back On You". I like to try and stay cool, just by remembering that all I EVER wanted as a kid was compromise instead of saying "Do it the way I tell you or face the consequences". I have never done it the way they tell me. Even in the Navy I always went far enough that respect was shown and directions were followed, I never let them condition my brain to comply. It was just survival at the time.
This subject, is obviously going to come up a lot, and in my next piece I am gonna cover ways to get your kids to eat things you just may not ever think they will try, just in case you need a little encouragement. I learned to cook things a lot of different ways for a lot of different palettes, that is called, love for food. Personally I think teaching them to live up to please everyone else is ridiculous. What happens if your daughter has a family dinner at a dates house? Well, I would hope that family would respect her enough to simply, asks what she likes. I uh, don't have ANY other words on that. If you expect others to like things because you present them, you simply have no control at all. Thanks for reading my ramble folks! As I move on, I will put more understanding behind everything.
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