Thing 2 has a 'boyfriend'! Thing 2 has a 'boyfriend'! Shout it into the streets!... hold on, I know I know, I should be freaking out. But here's the thing, she's 6. And get this, on Valentines day, she sent him messages saying "You're cute" How do I plan to deal with this? This is my first real approach! Thing 1 wants nothing to do with the idea of boys, they are "gross and mean" for like, another 6 months or so. But my youngest, has always been the more 'grounded' and well kept, so its a total shock that she brings it to the table first. Well, follow along, and I shall tell you the story of how we approached this.
Ha! I'm so lame!
First, a little back story, and reflection. When your dad friend was a lot younger, like uh 5. Yes, it was a huge year for me, I call it my "Defining year" if you haven't, I would read my other blogs about it! Anyways, I was a fine young lad who just happened to have an attraction to girls (in the most innocent sense). This was actually, just a short time before I learned the extremely hard way about um, that stuff. These days, that kid is dead and I am beyond timid. I was a wild young man who just wanted to hold hands with all the pretty girls I saw that were friends of the family, and there was a lot! And I also had an extensive love for glam metal bands who were REALLY into girls. I wanted to be one of those band members, because I wanted to hold lots of hands! Like Jon Bon Jovi and Bret Michaels.
That Summer I went to my first concert, POISON! I was let loose! Of course, my aunts were there. I can still remember the moment, and then I made my first Casanova move ever! There in the T shirt line was a blonde girl who was most likely like 17? I walked right up to her, and asked if I could hold her hand, she let me, and we stood there until one of my Aunts noticed and called me over. "I'm going in with my new Girlfriend!" every single person in line gushed and laughed, it was a moment to remember, and as luck would have it, I just happen to have a scar from the day on my ankle from a roadies cigar to remember it (my Mom still insists it was a massive joint and not an innocent enough cigar). It was the single most cutest moment of my childhood that everyone still gushes about. As a matter of fact, it was the first thing that came up when learned of Thing 2's boy troubles.
So anyways, what do we intend to do about this?! Well, first like responsible adults, we asked her what she thought love was and why she thought he was cute. Her answer? "He dresses nice and says good Morning". Her demands here? She wants a damn zoom meeting with this kid. So my Wife, being the trooper she is, gets to reach out and say "Hey, my kid isn't a weirdo she just like, thinks your kid is cute and polite". We don't know them or their standards, but the thought was well received on both ends. Its harmless, no ones mind is corrupted here, there is no running off to get married.
I am personally, ecstatic, because one of my Daughters gets the childhood experience of true 'Puppy Love' what else are we supposed to call it? I joked about her kissing the kid and she went off the rails in disgust, I don't think its a concern. In her world, she has a boy that is a friend, she see's that their is a difference and has established attraction on looks.. pffft.. HOW SHALLOW! Just kidding of course, I couldn't be more proud of the tiny Gremlin for coming forward with something she was afraid to tell anyone about. She came with an honest problem in her life at the moment and asked for advice, at 6 years old.
Thing 1 is like me, very quiet and to herself, silly, but very solo flying. Thing 2 has the direct social skills to function with others and I am so beyond happy about that! My children? They get to keep their childhood and their innocence, I never got that chance, I am not saying it will always stay this way, I am not even saying tomorrow it wont all come crashing down. What I am saying is at this moment, I feel totally comfortable knowing how smart my daughters are, just from being self aware.
So tonight, we raise our frosty root beer floats to childhood! Thanks to this kid, and her bravery, and her overall love for others. She is a tiny little bagpipe of winded whining, but here, she has made me beyond proud. I get to gush about my kids a lot, I am lucky, but this is the first time I writing out how proud I am. This kid, restored my faith in everything bad, and I didn't have to kill any of her dreams out of paranoia. She will have her Zoom date, and we will move on into parenting legend status, just by never setting limits to her mind, keeping her encouraged, and of course keep her safe.
How do you keep them safe? Don't ruin their world. We talk about this scary place, and all the nonsense involved with it. It is TOTALLY scary, and in every scary movie, you beat the monster by proving you are bigger and badder, and you find its weakness. (except Art, God help us all if someone mimics that crazy clown!). One day, they wont let you in at all, no matter how involved you are, because they will know it all and have to figure it out on their own. There will come a time when you will worry, it comes with any kid, especially as teenagers, I have lots of stories about myself, wild ones, that I will be sharing in time through all this.
There is no shame at all in establishing relationships with your kids. You don't have to be best friends, but being enemies will only get you secrets, and being direct, will only get you someone who just believes the magic of childhood is a lie. My childhood was killed on every level outside of pop culture, I hope you guys never have to embrace things this much to cope. Always stay this rad! 💚🖤💚🖤
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