It happened! After all the years, 12 YEARS! I have gotten a 3 day ban on Facebook. It is the first sign that we have all gone crazy. Why did I get a 3 day hammer? Easy, I didn't like something someone said and it affected me deeply. It was low, it was uncalled for, and unexpected. I grew up being bullied, words don't phase me. I can roast with the very best of them. The question becomes what draws the line between 'name calling' and reportable? I don't know, I don't really report things. Today, I made a joke that someone, well... I don't know how they took it but decided to say something totally unrelated.
"Did you just assume my baseball bats tree variance?!"
It was decided that good humor was to refer to a dude with his two daughters in his picture as you know.... a toucher thingy guy, I cant even type it out. My response (it was wrong) was to refer to him as mentally challenged in a less nice way. I had officially lost my cool on the internet and the "bullied" had become the bully, it's not like it never happened before. You know what, I'll wear the badge well. And I have a few words to go with it. And I am gonna go deep!!!!
*WARNING! WARNING! TRIGGERY STUFF AHEAD!! WARNING! WARNING!*
"WE IN JAIL SUCKA! THROW YA MONEY IN THE AIR!!"
People with no experience are very quick to hurt each other these days out of token words that we feel are "Hot buttons". We have turned trauma into character judgement just because we can. We don't really care about the weight of the words we use, we just use them. However if you attack someone's picture of their children as taken with 'bad intentions' you certainly are deserving of being referred to as, well, stupid, but word choice is a big topic.
Anyways, moving on from the babble.
I am a statistic.
I am a '1 out of 6' boy.
It is already getting harder to find the words.
When I was 5, I was betrayed by a close friend of the family. A few years older than me, and much, much cooler. We had, and still have an area of our property, that is more of an wide open storage area. It was a spot we held all of our lumber for projects like the home we were building at the time. My family were truly helpful people, so we let a good friend move in with her son. I was already a 'weekend friend' of his, and this was wild! A friend living here! He was only a couple years older. One thing we liked to do was hang out in the storage area and pretend we were in a Glam Metal video with lots of stage variations and would jump off imaginary speakers playing air guitar. And then one day, everything went to fucking hell.
From 2013, Here for reference, of all the outcry, it was super hard to find current statistics for actual abuse. This is a very reliable site out of, not so many raising constant light any support is appreciated
One day, I had to start being a 'girlfriend'. Yes, that's how it started. 'Make believe dating'. I was dehumanized, for a super long time. And only after having my first child did I start to truly regain myself. I'm almost a quarter of the way there! No matter who I loved, or how much, there was just no flame there for talking positively, or motivating myself, who cared. I sure as hell didn't haha.
I will put the rest of the experience in two quotes I heard and said the most.
"It's just like a lollipop" and "When do I get to be the Boyfriend?".
There, that's as simple as I can put it. This kind of just kept going on for, a long while. On weekends, this kid would go stay with his dad, sometimes, I would go to because he was still just the coolest! Sometimes we had fun and would listen to Blue Oyster Cult until 4 AM! Other times, we would go over to his friends apartment who happened to be a girl and I finally, got to be the "Boyfriend". Tada.
It took several months, as I said I cant recall how many, eventually I told the one person who would listen. At firs it was passed off as dramatics, which I have learned, I cant blame anyone for. My family was very trusting, and this broke a lot of them completely for a long time. I could run to my Grandma for anything, and this day of all, she proved it. I had beaten the big bad monster. So I had thought. In an instant, things were packed and people were moved out, no other words had to be exchanged.
The healing process could begin. However, i didn't realize that for years the healing process would simply be "let's just never speak about it and it will go away". We did it for a few years, and one day, just about everyone who loved and defended me was gone, my world had gone crazy.
Thank you gentlemen, You put a lot of it into words, even if its about something totally different. I had to figure out how to be a kid without my friend, and you put it into words I could understand
Luckily with a lot of support, I have recovered a great deal. This is a perfect expression of how improper words can inspire however. I am not one for exchanges of hurtful words, obviously, also, to cope with trauma, I use a lot of comedy. Maybe I am wrong and the dude has some pain, Maybe I should have messaged him privately. It got stupid, if you see this Mr. Anime, I apologize. I am morbid, and Dadmented, and I love monsters, but I am a human being in the end, at the least I will try and do my best to represent that.
One of the first things we learn is how to be social, it is one of the most important structures of our lives. Without it they call us uncivilized. But what do we call overcivilized? When do words lose all meaning? What have we really become, we let out a volcano of emotions because we are fighting for humanity, while throwing out uncivilized words to describe the REAL monsters of humanity. My innocence was stolen, I met the monster to be called the monster. That's why we are scolded in school for saying mean things. And now, the internet is no longer a lawless wasteland. Because we don't know anyone's story.
I applaud you if you have overcome the same, you have a giant air hug from me and I DONT fucking hug strangers but YOU are worth it. And if you are still fighting these demons, my personal Email, right there on the page. I will always do my best to answer with any advice, or even an ear. You are not alone, this fight doesn't have to be fought alone either! You are totally loved! To others, patrol your neighborhoods, not just the internet. Think about the painfulness of the word you are fighting so hard against, if you were called the same.
"Well Mr. Dadmented you questioned his learning capabilities you dummy!"
Yes, I did Because I have always been learning disabled and spent my entire school career in special classes. Here I am trying to writer things out, and I just wanted to know the level of incompetence it took to accuse someone of something so vile with no merit or warrant. It was wrong of me, but the only response I could come up with. Stay cool, I apologize to my readers, all the cussing and horror movies and bitching aside, be good to each other.
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