I have noticed through searching that there is more parents than I expected with disabilities such as this. And you know, they are totally awesome bloggers being activists with studied research to tell you why we need to stop doing research. I mean if you are into that stuff cool, I don't know anything about writing out stuff that you can follow along with like that. I try to relate with experience and instead of telling you what's wrong with the system, I am gonna just try and share how I cope with the easily managed. I am a fucking handful, and I am self aware, so you know, I try.
Sooo Asperger's apparently its KINDA a little common. Its almost exactly the same as ADHD, I however have a few characteristics that fully test on the Asperger's spectrum. Like... all of them... There is a few distinguishing characteristics if you are a parent with maybe a misdiagnosed child. It took us into my adult years to get properly diagnosed, and I thought my life was totally over, and honestly, it was only getting more awesome because of this. I had a full learning session about myself and I am still in a lot of courses to understand myself but, HAVING THE PROPER DIAGNOSIS SAVED MY LIFE. This is simply advice to show you that, it isn't over, even as an adult it just makes us better. And maybe I can help someone like I was helped.
No it isn't a fancy Dr. quote, but its legit!
This chart is totally awesome for differentiating. It was the same chart I first saw to raise questions for me because I just happened across it and it seemed so real. I had always become angry about the word Autism because it came up so much in my life. So many people tried to warn my family but it was a time when there weren't so many 'Woke' people writing about experience to relate to. As you can see everything is almost all checked off, and the differentiators are what determined things for me.
My routine, is absolutely attentive.
Sometimes the dog barks the wrong way and I have to make a speech about how she is acting, its who I am. And sometimes, people break like plans I was excited about and things go really haywire. Another example I can be open about is oh like a full MELTDOWN because the post office is a day late on your Valentines Day card for your Wife. This is what its like with me. And we ain't even gonna get into psychosis or anxiety or moods or anything here! My family, all of my family, works super fucking hard with me to gain an understanding together, I owe them a lot. I never thought I would be normal, But here I am, not normal at all!🧛♀️
Another defining factor? Well, as you can see, I don't have too many fucking interests! they are pretty cultured and exclusive, and I don't talk about much else. As hard as I try. That is why I do this, because I have this like, really unhealthy memory and combined with google, my God, it can only be used for good! I said a hundred times my interests have been the same since I was a kid, I don't get into much else, and if I do, I grow out of it really fucking quick. So that's how we differentiated between the two to help me. And also once we got down to it, I was able to help explain to other exactly how Asperger's made me act compared to ADHD.
There is also aspects where, I don't relate at al, like social behavior? I don't even associate with the anti social outside of typing. It shows how wild and different the spectrum is for everyone.
These are just some of the traits, remember this is varying degrees. You rarely show all known signs, but if enough click it may be easier to find what ails you. For instance my pain tolerance scale is off the charts. So much I damaged myself even more being able to ignore it and keep working in heavy scenarios. Also fears? HA! I have uh.. a lot, reality mostly. And lastly, I am not a spinner, I am so fidgety that I make my body tired from moving even when sitting. You may feel a lot or a little of these feelings, it isn't one sided, the spectrum is a pretty wide open highway. One thing to remember, the most important thing to remember in this is one thing.
ASPERGER'S IS COPEABLE MANAGEABLE AND ON THE MINOR END OF THE SPECTRUM
It doesn't have to be negative
I am going to admit. I thought I was stupid at first. I feel really bad for that.... but because of the stigma I grew up with I was crushed. I was afraid for my kids and my wife because I had no understanding of what it meant. I had always just been called hyperactive. Then, someone very close to me showed me how bright I was shining. I suffer from a lot of other disorders, so my reaction was instinctive for my brain, I couldn't help the emotion I felt ALSO part of this, I am a pretty overemotional dude for some while having... like.. none for others. I started asking odd questions about myself, and I started telling myself I couldn't do things. I had gone fully involved in the diagnosis with no understanding. That was 5 years ago. And I would like to take the next paragraph or two to explain to you how I feel about it now.
*AHEM *
5 years ago, I was diagnosed with something I knew I had all along without a name for it. I have a lot of things to blame Asperger's for, like maybe I could've made more friends with better social skills. Sometimes the smallest things make me feel really dumb and I get overwhelmed because I become incoherent. Sometimes, I REALLY FUCKING HATE IT, and that's the God's honest truth. Sometimes I literally can't help but get involved in something where it is me against 500 making me feel stupid because, I am that passionate about something out of just.. memory and understanding. I wish I knew the social cues on when to stop. And with therapy, I am learning. Other times, MOST times, I am like a 5'4 ball of energy who loves making quirks and dad jokes. I have a strong sense of who I am and what I like, my morals? totally fucking intact with them.
I love to laugh when I am happy, and when I am caffeinated and healthy I am a prankster. I am full of thoughts and ideas, with a good share of bad, but when my mind is clear of negative, Asperger's is my imagination fuel. I am one hell of a fucking Dad, its the only thing I learned to give myself credit on, and I am so because I have an understanding instead of a desire to understand. I can relate to my kids because well, in my mind? I am still a kid, I am highly functioning sure, like 99% of us are. BUT I AM 100% ORIGINAL. I am individual, truly, I formed my own view of the world through processing it and overanalyzing. I am me, we are, us. While others use the term 'sheep' for those who don't relate with them, the only people we relate with on everything is ourselves. I have always been this odd and I learned that's what I love about myself, and that THAT IS OK. I owe my life to my diagnosis no matter how much I hated it. Because for once, I know who I am and I embrace it. I am weird, wacky, and random, I love this about me. I had been called "Stupid" all my life, and I took it into a whole new context because of this diagnosis. I have about 99.9 million problems... but Asperger's ain't one 🤘
Asperagus!
It obviously, isn't always good, there are times it hurts my process in healing, but to me, its not something that regularly stands in the way, and I have met so many others just like me and we have formed the most awesome friendships! Am I learning things along the way? YES like just because I may share an interest, doesn't mean I am sociable. That is something that only happens with who I trust the most, and there is a handful of you sure. I love you all too! But I also love my exclusiveness in who I let in, because I see how easily we show each other out these days. I realize I don't make much sense, I say it all the time so you guys stick around because my main conclusion here is how healable and special we are as people. Embrace at least this part of your character if it is there because Asperger's is a lot of things.
Mostly, entertaining and creative things but sometimes bad things too.
We spend so much time trying to be informed when all we need is awareness. Is it hard to get diagnosed? Sometimes, yes, if you show minor signs, that's when you get another opinion or maybe direction in where to go for information. Is it a stigma? Maybe for like awareness, especially in a school setting because in minor cases like Asperger's sometimes we don't work alongside each other as parents and teachers or such. I think that comes down to a nonsensical book understanding of the subject. To beat the stigma, we have to get our info from the source instead of studying it for info. Does that make sense? Oh well, thanks for reading this far!
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