Lessee, self care, I think I have figured out a way to differentiate what we consider self care, to what it actually is. But I am gonna have to break it down into like two volumes. Self care isn't taking a month off because you feel a little overwhelmed and leaving everyone else wondering what is going on. It is also not scolding others for bothering 'your routine' of avoiding everyone, that's right, the Dad dude is getting tough here! We have to own who we are and what we do to the people who care to be more self aware of what's going on with us. I ain't talking about the folks who only put us down or want us to conform to their ways, that's called "Toxic traits". I will get a lot further into that but not here, this is for you and the people ya love.
That's right again! I say WE and US because I am just like all of you. We all know this road. It is especially rampant in our time when our children are expected to be 'winding down'. It is all about compromise, your child isn't going to understand why you need 5 minutes, neither is your friend who wears their heart on a sleeve. One of the main barriers in mental health is our frustration in understanding. I am gonna try and simplify your self care here so it benefits EVERYONE involved with you, ESPECIALLY.. you. Even if you only have 5 minutes a day to yourself, I got ways of trying t help ya help yourself! In this volume lets try and cover Physical, Psychological and Emotional self care and see how long it becomes.😀
Physical Self Care
EAT REGULARLY! That doesn't mean like three full meals, I am not good at this one, at all. No matter how much I love food. We are working this one together. I am a kitchen rat at heart, I eat once a day and snack constantly. Lunch, just pick something easy to keep yourself goin, a simple sandwich, or veggies (not my choice) will do! BOOM! You are fueled until dinner. That's where I personally like to feast, It's the end of the day, and a full stomach makes me the happiest. I top all this off throughout the night with moderate snacking on happy stuff, if dinner is a stressful time for you to make something quick and filling, um, I write out recipes like almost everyday for such situations! Stick with me!
Take Care of Yourself Medically! I know, its really hard in todays standards, but trust me, if it is that serious, TAKE THE DEBT, YOU ARE WORTH IT, hospitals bills are what they are. Is that the best advice? Prolly not but if it comes down to life or death over insurance, come on, think about yourself.
GET SOME FUCKING SLEEP! You need some help with that? Message me, I'll sing you a song, Just kidding, I'll be sleeping!. Yesterday when I fanboyed Off With Their Heads I mentioned my cool new sleeping pattern of sometimes being in bed by midnight. It is a huge step for me because I was used to being up well into 5:30 AM for a very, very long time. If you start using just a tad bit of self care, your body is going to respond by wanting to comfort sleep, eventually, if that doesn't work, I self medicate, I am not ashamed of it, smoke yourself to sleep. If you don't wanna do that I heard Melatonin works great, I cant verify that but I have heard good things. Try anything to get yourself some good sleep, even if its just once in a while.
Get dressed, and do something simple! Sometimes, just wearing your favorite shirt and getting the groceries can make you feel better about your identity and yourself. Honestly, its the smallest start to dealing with social anxiety, the simplest one, and my favorite because it takes no social effort, just simple interaction doing the daily thing, in a way you are comfortable. Try it, it could be the difference between a bad mood and at least an OK one, sure, we all live Pajamas but dudes and dudettes, get dressed and face life a little, do it for you. Best part is, you still have to walk around so its exercise! Ha! We are doing this!
Do the diddly! Always make time for that, yes, even if its by yourself... God isn't really watching you its fine, release those endorphins. There, I am super timid so uh.... yeah... I wont say much more on THAT stuff but, stay healthy in it for sure.
Psychological Self Care
Let others know different aspects of you. This one is honestly, not so hard, let people know the real you. When I started doing this, I asked myself what I wanted to focus on about me, and with the help of my counselor we agreed, EVERYTHING because there are so many aspects of me that make me ME I ain't like you, and you ain't like them, we are us, embrace yourself. I am such a firecracker of a guy who know so much cool stuff, and instead of hiding myself to be like others, I am gonna find others that embrace themselves like me and come together as weirdos. Be yourself, its the person you are the most in tune with, and let others see the real you, even if the real you is quiet.
Keep things non work related. Doe that sound harsh? Well kind of, I am not referring to "doing what you love" however, if you are happy with you work, you are very lucky like me! I wasn't happy with my work for a long time, now my work is this and, I am ecstatic about it. What I mean is, take time to read something non work related. Don't bring it home with you, that's the worst for trying to make a job interesting. I know that is super fucking hard, my suggestion, find a meme page about your career, a lot of them,. and laugh it out. I love cooking, and a commercial kitchen killed that for me for many years, it was just something I did, memes kept the passion alive through humor. Laugh it all out.
Stay Curious! Always ask questions, never act learned, even teachers learned from someone, we all started somewhere as a peon in something. Find new interests, even if it isn't a hobby, find new pictures to look up, new things to laugh at, and always stay wondering. Visit a small museum or local historic area if you cant leave town. Never ever stop processing information even if it contradicts something you are concrete in.
Learn to receive from others! Yep! I said it I'll do it again to! This was a tough lesson for me, a kick in the teeth if you will. I am my fathers son, a quiet dude, but I was totally against criticism, I didn't wanna hear when I was wrong because I was already having trouble processing what I was saying and thinking. Its tough, anxiety is a fucking pain but remember, we ain't the only ones in this little show we are putting on, if we are acting out, its because the other person cares enough to let us. Take the 5 seconds to take what they said and consider it into your feelings. Its ok to do that, it isn't like letting your guard down. If what they said only hurts you in all ways in the end and was uncalled for, consider that person intentions, I don't mean write them off as toxic, just consider how well you take their input and use it. You got this! Work with people who want to help you succeed. If they don't understand, help them. if you can't understand, let someone help!
Say NO to extra stuff. Yes its OK to do that, I am slowly learning this. I watched my entire family run ourselves ragged for years without complaining, now we are all beat to hell and barely functioning. In return we have a lot of people who take advantage of us, Its frustrating, and its something I constantly have to face and cope with because I will be real, it isn't going away, out of always saying 'yes' to everyone, we got nothing but a bunch of people who have become co dependent. Don't be like us, take the time to say no if it isn't a crisis situation or done out of being good hearted.
Emotional Self Care
Love Yourself. No one in the world can figure that out for you friend. Find just one thing, and cling to it, and slowly out of the sewer you think your life is, positive affirmation will follow. We flood our newsfeeds with empowering memes, well, put them into place. While you surround yourself with good people also ask this, how are you returning the favor? Are you reliant on their help, or working together through everyone's times all at once holding each other up? The person carrying everyone is gonna get tired guys, lets face it. And if you are seeking help, you aren't the one carrying everyone, its called facing ourselves. What do I love about myself? Well, these days, most days, more than I dislike myself, when just a few short months ago it was... "I have kids". That's why I loved myself. Take it slow, we got ya here.
Find your comfort zone! Don't like trying new foods? I mean, don't. Never let anyone force you to do so (unless you are kids reading this! listen to you parents! Uhoh wait, DONT READ THIS! BAD WORDS!). Like your old buddy here, embrace yourself in what ya like, re-watch your favorite movie, relive your favorite memory, and do it as much as you fucking want to! Never feel bad about your cultured routine. We like what we like, and should spend more time being who we are. Start a new hobby or collection, show it off, be proud of who you are.
Laugh, Cry, get a LITTLE Mad sometimes: If someone told you crying wasn't OK, its OK to bully that person to make them cry to let the emotion out! (kidding, don't do that) But people, emotion is OK feel it, share it, all of it. Who cares if you're buddy will see you cry or you will lose your "Bitch" social structure, its OK to care about things. Not letting it out will kill you.
Play with your damn kids guys! Listen, if nothing else works trust me on this. Take 5 minutes, a really deep breath, and just give yourself a 30 second time limit to go totally ape shit with the kids, JUST BE WARNED, if you do this, they aren't gonna let you leave and go be sad or moody again, you will be stuck, and it will be fine. Make sure you don't get grumpy, they will get bored after 10 minutes and you made their day and made yourself feel THAT MUCH better, you got older kids? Get on their level for just a few minutes instead of trying to be above them and teaching experience, sometimes, they need to know we are clueless and we will all feel better about it. Ask them how their game is going before you ask them to take out the trash, assure them its only gonna take 5 whole minutes out of their day and let them sigh, BOOM ya bonded. They have an understanding, and respect level. And you can stay sane. How do I know? I don't know anything about having an older kid, mine are still turdling level for just a few short years yet. But I do remember what it was like being a kid. and who I responded to better with my family.
Seek positive companions It's not rocket science, two negatives don't make a positive. Sure it is great when two people are working together to fix something. However, if they aren't working on fixing it and only embracing what it is, nothing is getting fixed and its just two negative people trying to be positive. Get it? I hope so phew! That was a damn tongue twister! Also, on that not to close off this volume... ahem...
IT IS NOT SOMEONE ELSES RESPONSIBILITY TO BE COMPLETELY IN CHARGE OF YOUR WELL BEING. Sorry.. what I mean is, your companion is there out of love, not a hostage, its OK to do different things, or want their feelings to be recognized ORRRRR even get frustrated with your antics, that's companionship folks, in a nutshell. They aren't your hostage, they are your 'other half' the person supposed to make you whole, if the puzzle doesn't fit, for everyone's happiness, stop trying to put it together! It hurts but, it will feel so much better to do something for you, especially out of socialization because even if its over a computer, it is THAT important in our lives to have positive conversation. Need positive conversation? Send your old buddy the Dad dude here a message, I got you.
That's Volume 1! phew! that was a long one! Now to start on the next! See ya on the other side!
Love,
Doctorb Dadmented!
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