I happily admit I am not an A24 fan, I think I have seen one movie from that company I enjoyed, and well... I can't even remember what it was. However, I am a fair dude and though it may take me a while to work up interest, I eventually give everything at least one shot. So here comes the part where I admit to myself that yes, most movies of the modern era are in what I refer to as "the 1 watch club" (genius right?). Both of these movies, fell into that category. Enjoyable? Somewhat. Do they make sense? I mean I guess if you follow the story enough, it really just gets weird and uncomfortable though, I personally don't watch horror to be uncomfortable, I like a good time while watching movies. Reality is terrifying enough, I use the genre I love to escape the stories of the world. Now, what they used to call drama got a few fake skeletons and off we go on a "horror" career. We tune in to watch people hide from the stages of fucking grief or something and yes, it annoys the fuck out of me. Anyways, I have gone off on enough of a tangent, let's get started.
X
OK so, let's start with this... gem, I guess. It felt like a Rob Zombie movie without passion. That's right, I said it, I'll do it again too. I didn't see the love for the genre in this movie, just a half-decent story, that goes like haywire or something. It also involves modern "scream queens" (my ass) and a lot of weirdly long drawn-out sex scenes, trust me, it only gets weirder from there. Apparently, some old people get wrinkled and zombified in ways I've never seen an old person look. I mean what are they? a hundred? They remind me of the episode of Tales From the Darkside with the grandpa who refused to be laid to rest. It's silly, not scary. Maybe it was supposed to be that way. From there, it just gets uncomfortable and relied on the idea of reality too much. I hate the fucking trend of "Well maybe this could really happen". I'd rather see monsters or oversized oafs who carry weapons and refuse to die.
I feel like they could have done this movie any which way and it would still fall into a trending story, everything else just felt kind of.. off. The acting was terrific, I won't deny that, and if it would have been fun instead of a serious fucking take on something slashers have been doing for generations. It just seems like they wanted to leave some kind of mark on people, and it did, with others... It still kind of missed the mark with me because it seemed like something awesome, turned into something without any real type of direction. Maybe it's because they are trying to push these movies out one right after another, but it almost seemed like they were grasping at straws toward the end. It was a damn good swing, and almost ALMOST landed a home run, but when people start dying in the last 10 minutes of a movie you devoted almost two hours to is lame as fuck. I can't fucking stand that about modern horror, if you are going to build up kills, put a little more effort into that last 10 minutes, squashing a watermelon with a car tire is 10 times more believable than these FX, there was just a lot going on at one time to make people say "Oh wow, what a twist!" A very expected one. I am just gonna move onto the next movie because typing this makes me angry.
Pearl
OK so here we are for round 2, which came first? I don't know. I am not even impressed enough to look it up. I guess we are based around World War 1? 2? Who cares! It's barely a part of the story even though a character is centered around it! I don't quite get the premise of what is happening here. Did she descend into madness because she has mommy issues? I mean in the end that seemed to be it. I would say the story is great, but, it's not. I spent a lot of time sifting through boring dialogue. I am gonna stop right there to be honest, I have to be fair with this and it sounds like a rant.
SO... lets try it again. I found the story to be fueled with dialogue and yet another overextended sex scene, also, lets not forget this is one of the old people from X, who looks exactly like a character introduced at what was to be a much later time, apparently... Again, I didn't know old people aged that horribly. Something about that is just irritating to watch. This was another moment where everything the movie built up to and promoted happens with about 10 minutes left. There... nice and spoiler free... Coming to the end of this review feels refreshing, almost as refreshing as knowing I will never have to, in anyone's interest, watch these movies again. There... that was nice...
Comentários